A new Gallup poll shows that President Biden is in first place at last. Biden has suffered from declining popularity with the American public. In fact, his poll ratings have been historical markers for unpopularity.
However, in a recent poll Biden came in first. Biden beat out brussels sprouts for America’s least favorite vegetable. Press secretary Psaki complained that the characterization of Biden as a vegetable was a bit unfair. Psaki pointed out that Biden did move about of his own accord from time to time.
The recent snowfall bomb in the northeast has created some doubt among folks about the global warming paradigm. It’s really quite simple. Here is how all this works:
If it is hotter than normal, this is due to global warming.
If it is colder than normal, this is due to global warming.
If there is less snow than usual, this is due to global warming.
If there is more snow than usual, this is due to global warming.
If there is less rain than usual, this is due to global warming.
If there is more rain than usual, this is due to global warming.
If there are fewer hurricanes than usual, this is due to global warming.
If there are more hurricanes than usual, this is due to global warming
If there are more tornados than usual, this is due to global warming.
If there a fewer tornados than normal, this is due to global warming.
If the winter is colder than ever recorded at the South Pole, this is due to global warming.
If an ice shelf breaks off from Antarctica, this is due to global warming.
If the amount of summer ice in the Arctic Ocean is 20% greater than normal, this is due to global warming.
Hopefully this provides to clarity that is needed to understand the process of global warming.
The Babylon Bee provides us with the latest inanity from the White House.
WASHINGTON, D.C.—Legendary quarterback Tom Brady has announced his plan to retire from the NFL to spend more time carving little wooden toys for his grandkids. In response to the earth-shattering news, President Joe Biden has announced his commitment to replace the outgoing football star with a woman of color.
“Listen, folks, it’s time,” said Biden to the press. “In the hundred-year history of the NFL, not a single quarterback has ever been a woman of color. That’s racist! We all know that poor women are just as smart and powerful as white kids. As president, I will nominate a new quarterback to replace Tom Brady that reflects America’s diversity.”
When told he doesn’t have the authority to nominate quarterbacks to the NFL, Biden told his staff he would just sign the executive order and let the courts deal with it later.