WARNING: Satire Ahead
This is going to strike a nerve with a lot of people.
Some babies said that if they cannot get enough formula in Ukraine, they will get caught sneaking into the country across the Mexican border. The ICE processing centers for illegal border crossers have plenty of baby formula for illegals. And it is free.
The first photo is from this morning at the Ursula Processing Center at the U.S. border. Shelves and pallets packed with baby formula.
The second is from a shelf right here at home. Formula is scarce.
This is what America last looks like. pic.twitter.com/OO0V99njoy
— Kat Cammack (@Kat_Cammack) May 11, 2022
Speaker Nancy Pelosi declared during the debate over the legislation, “When you’re home thinking about what [$40 billion to Ukraine] is all about, just think about ‘When I was hungry, you fed me’ from the Gospel of Matthew.”
A particularly precocious baby disguised as a Ukrainian soldier noted that the correct allegory to the gospel of Pelosi would be, “When I was hungry, you spent the money on guns, not butter.”
Another precocious tot babbled about Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen recently proclaiming that abortion helps the economy. The tot noted that others present at the time opined about how starving babies could accomplish the same goal if Roe v Wade were overturned.
The tot said there was some discussion about using a false accusation against a baby formula company to shut down production. Then the politicos could hide behind the idea that they were just protecting babies. The tot noted that this is just what happened as the largest producer of baby formula in America was shut down and has been refused permission to restart production despite there being no evidence that their products caused illness.
The tot noted that conversations regarding insufficient campaign donations were overheard. This was in the midst of free crack pipes being given out.
In other news Pete Buttigieg is struggling to find formula for his twin babies and has been forced to resort to chestfeeding.
“Well, I’m sad it’s come to this, but we have no choice. We have to chestfeed,” said Buttigieg to his husband Chasten. “With any luck, we’ll be able to harvest enough chestfluid to keep these babies nourished.”
The President has weighed in on this problem. “If all 300,000 people coming over the Rio this month drop off a can of Similac, we’ll have this thing fixed lickety-split,” said President Biden. “In the meantime, Hunter always carries little bags of formula powder with him. I’m sure we can use that to get by!”
AOC voiced opposition, stating that Planned Parenthood was well equipped to simply eliminate the demand for baby formula if the Supreme Court would only let them.